This is a rant to my ex-boyfriend! I need to get this out of my system before I snap. You can read it if you want, but this is just me putting everything behind me so that I can move on with my life.

OK, so you went to my DA page and you read my three month old journal. So what, you want a cookie? That's what, the third time in the five years that I’ve known you that you have ever been to my site. For the three years that we were dating you could give two shits about my site and my journal. Did you even look at my gallery? Have you ever? Did you see all the art that I did for/about you? Did you see how angry I was when you told me you wanted to see other people for the summer and that kept calling my to talk about some bitch that you wanted screw? Do you have the slightest comprehension of how much you hurt me? Then you pick me up at the airport for the start of a new school year and all of a sudden you think I’m going to put out for you? Who did you think you were?

You always took my love and friendship for granted. You walked all over me because I was too kind to stand up and say that I didn’t like something. I tolerated the things that you did when I would never have tolerated such things from any other living creature. I hate myself for just letting things slide.

You always seemed to be on the look out for another girlfriend. Did you think I was stupid? Or blind? You must have.

You would rip me down and make me feel like crap because it made you feel better. Then you looked to me for pity about how unhappy you were. What did you expect me to do? I can only give so much of myself before there is nothing left to give. You sucked me dry.

You always had a double standard. It was OK for you to talk about me and sex and what ever you felt like talking about with your friends. But if I even mentioned that I discussed such things with my friends, you would jump down my throat. You had NO respect for my personal issues. You had no problem with blurting out the my most personal secrets to people that I didn’t know. You never even thought twice about it.

Nothing that we got together was ‘ours’ it was always ‘yours’ or ‘your parents’. Yeah I know that it was your parents money that you brought to the table. But the money that I brought to the table was MINE! That camera we got was half paid for with MY money. But I never felt that I was aloud to use it. I always felt that I had to ask before I used the camera. In your eyes the camera belonged to your parents and that was the final word. Same thing with Crescent. She was never our cat. She was your cat. Same thing with the birds.

I tried to talk to you with an even keel about this stuff and the other things I was mad about and I thought that you understood. At least you said that you understood what I was angry about and that you thought that I had every right to be angry. You asked me wanted I wanted and I told you that I wanted my personal space. I needed you to back off for a while. You told me that you understood and that you would give me my space. You called me a week later and talked to me like we never had that conversation. I was annoyed and confronted you about it and all you had to say was “I didn’t think that you were serious“. What! I talk to you whole heartedly and you don’t take me seriously? Then you say you’ll give me my space. You give me three weeks. I refused to answer your phone call just to see if you would get the point. You kept calling and I snapped and yelled at you. But you still wouldn’t leave me alone. You had the gal to pull the “I was in a car accident” card to guilt trip me into answering? Fuck that! I am not going to talk to you because you think you can guilt me into it. I am a women and my anger will not just subside over time. My anger grows and boils.

Now your sending my e-mails to say that you care and that you can ‘help me out’. Save your money, I don’t want it! I don’t need your pity either. If you want to help me, than just leave me alone.

I want my space. And I don’t want to be angry anymore. I’m done.

Ha.

I highly doubt that you will ever even read this.